Telling Secrets
by LovableDuck
Summary: Niou hadn't realized just how important keeping a diary could be. But, even as it becomes a record of his life being torn apart, it becomes the glue that can also put his life back together. Possible Prank Pair NiouKiri .
1. Prolougue

Author's Note: Well, I had finished my first multi-chapter fic…and it made me want to write another one. And since Inspiration hit me on the head with this idea…well, this is the result. xD

Disclaimer: Let's get real: If I owned PoT, why would I be posting on a FAN fiction site? And Sandileina's nicknames are also not mine. (See the Sandileina's in front of the word nicknames.)

_Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets  
Cuz you're the only one that I know who'll keep  
them  
Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets  
I know you'll keep them, and this is what I've  
done_

_-_P!nk, in her song Dear Diary

_It all started with what Niou dubbed the "Stupid Assignment". It had started only a few months ago, but looking back on it, nothing had seemed to mark the end of something…and the beginning of something else…_

Niou Massasharu, called Haru by his "close" friends, rolled his eyes as his Language Arts Teacher droned on. _"Stupid teacher…why the hell should I keep a damn diary? That's so stupid…"_

"Keeping a diary will be good for you. It will show insight into your daily lives; into yourselves…it'll show the change from who you are into who you are meant to be!" Niou couldn't help but roll his eyes at his teacher. _"Like writing down my problems will help solve them. Hell, I'm not even sure if they are solvable…"_

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If you interested, review. If you think it may be good, review. If you've read this far, review. If you want to help a dying writer, REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW. xD

But please, whatever you do…REVIEW.

LoveableDuck


	2. Lines

Author's Notes: Okay, I'm going to try to update at least twice a week…but I don't know how well that will work out. xD Also, I still have no idea about pairing…so if you want, you can request pairings in a review. But that doesn't mean I'll take it…xD

Lines

Niou looked up from his notebook just long enough to take in the scene around him. He was sitting in the kitchen, not that he knew why; this was the scene of most of his parents' fights. It was also where his sister had begun to, as his mother called it, "lose her fucking mind." So maybe that was why he was there…it was where all of his problems had seemed to start.

"Get off your lazy ass and help me!" Niou rolled his eyes as his dear, sweet mom walked through the door; carrying bags that he knew were laden with a mixture of food for his family, and prescription pills for his mom.

"As much as I'd love to help you…wait, that's right, I'd rather not." Niou didn't even bother really pissing his mom off, her dilated pupils were enough to show that she probably had opened one of her new bottles of pills in the car.

"Onii-chan…give me a hand?" Niou turned around to see his little sister walk in, carrying two obviously heavy bags. _"Great, now she's driving high with Nadi…"_

"Here." Reaching forward, Niou took the bags away from his sister, and carefully set them down on the table.

"Thank you so much, Onii-chan…what's this?" Niou glanced back at his sister, and saw her looking at the notebook that was still lying open on the table. He continued watching even as her fingers touched the page almost gingerly; stroking one of the dark lines running through the deep white page.

"The lines…they're prettier here… "Nadi's deep, blue eyes were staring, transfixed, at the open page…a look that Niou had seen before.

Swallowing, Niou chose his next words very carefully. "Where else have you…seen them?" He gazed into the eyes of the only person he ever loved.

Nadi looked back at him, but the usual emotion was not there. "I haven't seen them before…but they told me about lines."

Niou could feel the despair that always came whenever his little sister mentioned "them". "What did they say?" His voice didn't betray his true feelings; it was calm and almost snide, as usual.

"That they are the way out." With that, Nadi left the room, humming almost intelligibly to herself.

Niou stood there for a long moment, staring after her; something was wrong with her, and he knew it…the only problem was that he didn't know how to fix it.

"Well," Niou said at last to himself, "It's not like that teacher is going to read my diary…I may as well write this shit down." Still mumbling to himself, Niou walked over to the table, shutting the book hard, as though the louder he shut it, the more likely those lines that had fascinated his sister would disappear. And with it whatever affected his sister would too. But Niou knew that it wouldn't. His sister was going to be like that, and there was nothing he could do to stop it…to make it go away, make it leave and never come back.

And even after he made it up to his room, and had the notebook out in front of him, the first page was to bear witness to this fact. As the page steadily became more soaked with sobs that made their way out of Niou's body, the Trickster, the one who could fool all finally realized that no matter what, he couldn't fool himself. No matter how hard he tried.

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So…what do you think? Hmm…kind of…I don't know, I think I worded it weird…but whatever…I don't think I could do it any better. xD

Just as another note, as far as I know, this fic will have a happy ending…because I don't like sad endings. Happy endings make me happy, and sad ones make me…sad. xD

LoveableDuck


	3. Three in the Morning

Author's Notes: Sorry for the late update…I've been busy. I'm also sorry for the shortness of this chapter…I was actually thinking about making it longer, but I'm still toying with some ides of how to continue, and I wanted to update. xD Also, Nadi is important to the over all story line, but she's really a minor character. At least, I think so…xD

And thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! They are all really appreciated. -

Three in the Morning

Niou stared down at the small notebook in front of him, genuinely surprised at how he had managed to use up three pages describing the 'incident' that had happened in the kitchen. With a groan that was barely indistinguishable from a sigh, Niou turned around to look at the clock and stared. The glowing numbers read 3:00. _"And I have school tomorrow," _Niou though grumpily.

Pulling himself up, Niou walked over to his window, staring out at the black night sky, which seemed to him to be almost interrupted with the whiteness of the stars. He was gazing so intently at the canvas of deep black speckled with white shining drops that he almost did not hear the singing that was coming from below him, the opposite of the sky that was stretched out before him.

"Ahhhhh…." The voice was beautiful, sweet and sad at the same time, but Niou's body froze, and the only thing that moved was his head, as his little sister slowly came into view.

Niou stared at her for a long moment, listening to the sad melody of his sister's song. And then he was moving, blinking back tears that had already fallen that day, prepared to go out and do what he needed to.

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This is shorter than I thought it would be….xD I'm sorry, but I think the next chapter will be really long (for me at least). xD

So, tell me what you think…I'm open to all and any ideas. Also, the more reviews I get, the more updates you get….hint, hint. xD

LoveableDuck


	4. Three Minutes

Three Minutes

When Niou walked outside, the scene that greeted him was eerily beautiful and scary at the same time. His sister sat on the ground, dressed only in a thin tank top and thinner shorts, rocking back and forth, singing. She looked completely surreal, and Niou almost wondered if it was a dream. But then he saw her lips curve into a smile and hit a high note, and the sound reminded him of what had happened the last time his sister had done this. And so he walked over to her, feeling as though he was about to split apart and knowing that he had to hold her together.

"Nadi-" Niou's voice caught in his throat, but his sister didn't notice; she didn't break from her trance. "Nadi…you have to go inside. You can't stay out here…"

Nadi made no sign that she even knew he was there; she just kept rocking back and forth, back and forth. The blue eyes that she had were sealed shut, and Niou's eyes had never been wider.

"Nadi….please…" Niou blinked, and as he did, a tear dropped onto his sister. Nadi didn't stir, with what seemed a peaceful smile was on her face, and she continued to rock back and forth.

"Nadi, don't do this to me. I can't-" Niou swallowed and exhaled slowly, his breath becoming a white cloud in the chilly morning air. Bending down to his knees, Niou reached over and gently took Nadi face in his hands. "Nadi, you-"

"No!" The screaming interrupting her song, Nadi slapped Niou in the face. Niou jerked back, but not in surprise; he had dealt with worse. "Let go of me you…you…thing!"

Niou felt the tears building up, somewhere back in his throat. _"She doesn't even know that it's me,"_ he thought to himself. _"But then again, when she gets like this…"_

Ignoring the screaming that would definitely wake up his parents, Niou scooped Nadi up. Along with her high-pitched yelps came the hands with nails that tore at Niou; his face, his clothes; but Niou ignored it, and continued carrying his little sister in through the same door he had walked out of, just minutes before.

As he walked in, he glanced at the clock that sat on a small shelf. The numbers read 3:03. _"It's amazing," _Niou thought bitterly to himself, _"that so much can happen in three minutes, and so little in 13 years. Because for fourteen years, she was fine." _A drop of blood ran down Niou's arm, from where Nadi had scratched him, and cut him deeply. _"And she's definitely not fine now." _

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Any and all reviews are loved! (And reviewing is necessary for fast updates.) xDD -grins evilly-

LoveableDuck


	5. Freedom

Freedom

Niou couldn't help but roll his eyes at Sanada when Rikkai's fukubuchou began lecturing him on 'importance of attendance' and all that crap. Really, Niou knew and the entire team knew that Sanada would never kick Niou - or any other regular, for that matter - off the Regulars because of being late.

"Don't roll your eyes at me!" snapped Sanada with his usual angry tone, yet Niou felt as though there was something lacking too it - an edge of falseness, maybe worry leaking into his voice despite the furious exterior, perhaps? Niou decided to look into it, but at a later time; he had too much on his mind now to pry into others'.

"Why were you late, Haru?" Yagyuu Hiroshi had walked up to him when Sanada had finally finished his pointless lecture, and Niou suddenly wondered if the concern he seemed to be hearing in his teammates' voices was really all in his head.

Shaking the feeling off with a smirk, Niou replied easily," Same old things…couldn't bother to get up on time." Ignoring the look of disbelief in his doubles partner's eyes, Niou hastily added, "Come on, let's practice; I want to kick Bunta's ass for leaving me with the bill when we went for ice cream with the brat last week."

And so Niou strode off, leaving a disgruntled and more than slightly worried team member behind.

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Niou sighed inwardly as he went off, knowing that Yagyuu would follow him in a minute or too. The entire team could tell that he was off - even the brat had asked him if he was "feeling okay" during their ice cream excursion. But he couldn't - wouldn't - bear to tell them the truth…which was why he had just lied to his supposed best friend, Yagyuu.

He had been up all night trying to comfort Nadi, and defending her when his stupid dad came home drunk, and tried to hit "the crazy bitchling" (his mother being the crazy bitch, of course). He had ended up hitting his father back, and when his dad had passed out, had a couple of bruises to show for it. After his sister had become her normal self again, she had eventually gone to sleep on the couch. He had watched over her until he was sure his mom went back upstairs and was asleep (she had been standing on the stairs watching the fight between her husband and son). In the end, he had gotten only about two hours of sleep, but as that was becoming normal for him, it didn't bother him as much as it used to.

"Ready for a match, fatty?" Niou called over to Marui, shaking off his brooding.

Letting a huge bubble burst with a loud _crack_, Marui turned to see Niou - with Yagyuu a few feet behind - smirking at him.

"I'm not fat!" Marui exclaimed instinctively. When Niou started to laugh, Marui added furiously, "that's it! Me and Jackal-"

"Jackal and I," Jackal corrected him mid sentence, rolling his eyes at Yagyuu, who nodded in understanding.

"Whatever! We're going to win!"

The relief Niou always got from playing tennis swept through him from the first serve. In tennis, he was free, his parents couldn't hurt him or anyone else, his sister wasn't sick, he was free. But that freedom always came to an end…and when it did, the pain seemed to hurt worse than before.

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Okay, so I don't really deserve it because of the late update - cringes - and I know this chapter feels a little bit rough…but will you review anyway? PLEASE? (They bring faster updates…winkwink)

LoveableDuck


	6. Discussing the Unavoidable

Discussing the Unavoidable

The regulars, minus one particular member, who had mysteriously vanished some time between the time it took his last period teacher to take attendance and the school bell to ring, signaling the end of school and the beginning of club activities, sat in the club room, discussing that member. And the fact that Niou was not being very Niou-ish.

There had been no pulled pranks, no new tricks; nothing had exploded in the past week - or was it two weeks? There had been breaks in Niou's trickery for random periods of time, to, according to Yanagi, throw off the suspecting school and its inhabitants, but never for a length of time as this with no hint at a new prank. This combined with Niou's not-very-Niou-like-behavior (forgetful, tripping on the court, and even brushing off an insult from Marui) had contributed to the decision to hold a meeting discussing the Trickster.

"I don't get it," whined Kirihara, slumping onto the long bench in the middle of the regulars' locker room, tired after only a short hour. "I mean, if everyone knows something's wrong, doesn't it make more sense to just ask him instead of just talking about it?"

Silence met his words, as Yukimura, Sanada, Yanagi, and Yagyuu stopped discussing why Niou was not being Niou. Jackal and Marui, however, stopped talking not because of their kouhai's wise words but because Marui had stated choking on his gum and Jackal was trying to help him.

Ignoring Jackal and Marui because something of this sort happened every day, Yukimura looked questioningly at Kirihara, who had somehow managed to end up on the floor in the space of the few short seconds it took to process his words.

"What I mean is," Kirihara tried to explain, "is that instead of going on about Niou-sempai being all weird, we just ask him."

As he continued to get blank looks, Kirihara added, "You know, confront him and ask him why he's been acting all strange and not normal."

Yukimura finally opened his mouth to explain to his innocent kouhai why Niou would never give a straight, honest answer to a question like that, but was inconviently interrupted by a wad of bubble gum that flew suddenly and violently past him. Yukimura, and the rest of the regulars, stared at Marui, whose face was slowly turning from blue back to its normal color.

"Bunta?" Jackal looked very worried. "Are you okay?"

His response was, instead of the usual spluttering ("What do you mean, 'are you okay'? I was just fucking choking to death!" or "Yes! Who cares if my face is blue, I was perfectly fine!") was hysterical laughter.

"Akaya!" Marui managed to choke out after a few minutes of him laughing and the rest of the team staring at him, with Yukimura silently wondering whether or not to commit their resident sugar addict to an insane asylum. "Do you really think that Niou would give a straight answer? Or even care that we were worried?"

Now Kirihara looked rather offended. "Yeah, he would! He never lies to me."

While Marui responded to that with new bouts of laughter, Sanada turned around to explain to Kirihara that telling the truth was not, despite the popular belief (or at least that of Kirihara's) that bending the truth (so that it resembled nothing of the sort) was not, in fact, honestly.

"Actually, according to my data, Niou is honest with Akaya seventy percent of the time." Every turned to stare at Yanagi. "That is, as far as I know, the most truthful Niou has ever been with anyone."

With that piece of information, Yukimura made up his mind: Kirihara was going to confront Niou about his problems. And soon.

But, unfortunately for the Rikkai regulars, their soon was not soon enough.

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Oh, the suspense! It's killing me! (because I don't know anymore than you do. xD) Anyway, I'm really sorry about the late update -cringes- but, it was because (and you can take this as either ran excuse or reason; I don't care which) I've had schoolwork, because I am, in fact, a very busy person. And I had the idea of a new fanfic. Which I have posted the first chapter of (I know, not a good idea. xD)

So, if you want (and I know you do) tell me what you think (or don't think) in a review. They are all thought of and appreciated. And they make me happy. And a happy Ducky updates faster! (hint hint)

LoveableDuck


	7. Shards of Broken Glass

Shards of Broken Glass

Niou stared in genuine shock at the notebook in front of him; gazing at the words until they formed spirals, blinding his eyes. He couldn't believe that he had just exposed himself by writing out his feelings, his experiences - everything and the sudden feeling of not having his usual protection scared him.

But only for a moment was he vulnerable.

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Niou woke up to the combination of screaming and yelps that signified the nightly attack of his father to his mother. Closing his eyes, Niou tried to regain the sense of peacefulness that was there when he slept, but with every cry from his mother, the sense was shattered even more. Niou grit his teeth as the sounds got louder, wondering vaguely if he should step in - as he had before - but knowing it was futile. His father had proved, after all, that while some people were happy drunk, he was more toward the end of the abusive type.

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_Niou stood at the edge of the stairway, staring in slight awe as his father bashed his mother over and over again with the back of his hand. When his mother finally couldn't take it anymore and cried out for him to stop, he picked up his now-empty bottle of Flagman vodka, and bashed her over the head with it. Niou finally couldn't take it anymore, and threw himself off the stairs and in front of his father._

_"Dad, stop it-"_

_"You son of a bitch!" The next thing Niou knew, he was being hit, again and again, by the same thick glass bottle that had just struck his mother. When the bottle broke after several hits, a shard of glass flew backwards and sliced his father's eye._

_"You fucking son of a bitch!" Niou's drunken father instantly blamed his son for the searing pain that was now his eye. _

_Now Niou felt himself bombarded with his father's arms and legs, beating him into submission. The last thought he had since had before he blacked out was, 'thank god Nadi isn't here. Thank god she's safe at Grandma's._

_And then the darkness took over._

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Niou's glazed eyes looked without seeing at the darkness in his room, not even noticing that his mother had stopped crying out.

The loud, heaving stomps of his father outside of his room released him from his trance; and Niou wondered idly if, for once, his father would remember what he had done to his wife, and not blame it on 'her clumsiness'.

With a sigh of resignation, Niou rolled back over, at last able to fall asleep without the distraction of his father's brutal beatings. He did not even notice, as he was so concentrated on not noticing, the sound of crying and laughing that came from his little sister's room.

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Sorry for such a short chapter…but I updated faster than normal, right? So I can get away with it, right? -Gazes at the reader hopefully-

Any and all comments are appreciated…so leave one (or two or three)!

LoveableDuck


	8. Voices

Voices

Nadi rolled back and forth, back and forth, on her bed. Tears were streaming down her face, and her laughter burned in her ears. She hurt - she hurt all over. But the voices said it would get better. They knew her best…knew everything about her: her likes, her dislikes; what made her happy, what made her sad…and what she was afraid of. What she was terrified of. What made her cower and bury her head every night during her mother's nocturnal beatings. The voices said it would get better. As long as she did what they said.

And she planned to.

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Okay, uhmmm - cringes - I can explain. Really. I can. I've been very, very busy with homework…and some fights with friends…and suffering a slight case of writer's block. Which is why you only have this short, short chapter…but it explains a lot. Right? So you'll forgive me…right?

So, please, even though I've been a very bad author and not updated, leave a review? Please? -Does Akaya's puppy eyes-

LoveableDuck


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